Mr.McDreamy

Everyone wonders is they will ever find "Mr. Right". You know him, the one that makes you feel whole, the one the you would love to hate, the one that can make your day but also has the power to take that joy away. Yes ladies we have all heard of "Mr. Right". What we all wonder is how long will it take to find him? When will he come? Is he just a figment of every girls imagination. We all would love to believe that he will come and carry us away but sometimes things don't happen the way that we plan. They don't occur the way we have viewed in Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty even Sherek. We all wonder why can't we find mister right. Why can't he really exist in real life. When will he come? Is he even real? I would not consider myself a hopeless romantic but it would be nice to see if he really exists. We all wonder about our one true love, when in all actuality we don't even know if he exists. We aren't even sure that he's real. As much as we want to believe in this "Mr. Right" sometimes we must face the reality. Maybe he won't come, maybe he won't kiss me and wake me up, maybe he won't find my glass slipper or rescue me from a tower, maybe these are things we as females need to do on our own. We need to be our own saviors and our own night and shining armor. So I say why care about this "Mr. Right" or prince charming when we all can accomplish these things on our own. Say goodbye to our fairy tale endings and say hello to the harsh but beautiful reality. 

The Licensed Driver

Hello BLOGGERS!
 Its been a while since I've blogged and do I have a lot to account for in theses past few months. For starters, I passed my road test and that took a lot of hard work and dedication. Hours of driving lessons with Mr. Tony Gomes and not to mention hours of lessons with my grandpa Sol who is 84 years old. God Bless him. Nothing gives him more joy then to teach his grand children something, even if he's told us this story a billion times. After passing the test I made the most ridiculous mistake. Heres how it went.

   I took my road test at about 1:30p.m. and completed it around 1:42p.m, passing with 95 points. 5 points were deducted because I made a wide left turn. So after the instructor and I had pulled over I began to cry because I passed. I never in a million years would have thought I would pass, especially because my mother had no faith in my driving abilities. But that day I proved everyone in my family wrong including myself. I passed and all I could do was rejoice. Because of my excitement Tony deiced to drive me home. We reached my drive way where I was greeted my both my mother and sister. I never received so many pitiful hugs in my life. It was one of those hugs that meant "We are so proud of you, even though we never thought you would make it." How reassuring could that be? My mother said since I was now a licensed driver, was could drive myself into town and she would pay for my lunch. Although she made a kind gesture, I thought to myself, "Really?! Town1 Whoopdedoo! a ten minute drive all by myself. How grown up is that?" I was hoping to explore, go on the high way and open all of the windows. Let my hair be caught in the breeze. But I was allowed to drive to town." Some accomplishment that was. After i finished at the deli i made my way back to the car when some random guy tries to get my number and failed miserably. I hopped in the car and headed for home, which was only 5 minutes away. As I pulled into my drive way I thought I would show my mom I deserved to drive  to at least the next town over and not five minutes away. I turned the steering wheel to the left and attempted to pull into my garage. Keep in mind I have never pulled out of the garage and I thought this would be my lucky day, that just because I am a licensed driver I would automatically know how to pull into the garage. As my foot hovers over the break all I hear is a BANG noise. I just thought I hit the can of my dogs poop. I put the car in park and stepped out to see that I did way more damage then I thought. I dented the right bumper and the head light fell out. So much for being a licensed driver huh?

Make Me Cry

    Make me Cry

Chorus

Why do you hurt me baby? Why do you make me cry? Why do you hurt me baby? What i do wrong to you?

V1

I see you walking down the halls but you acting like you don't see me,

strutting around like a movie star on t.v

I wanted to say i love you,

but some how the words just would come out

Now I'm stuck wondering what am I to do now.

Chorus

Why do you hurt me baby? Why do you make me cry? Why do you hurt me baby? What i do wrong to you?

V2

I'm sitting here fighting for a love so strong,

My friends calling me stupid

They say i need to move on.

I look 'em in the eyes and tell 'em I won't go

I really truly love him

But if he don't shape up then he will know

Chorus

Why do you hurt me baby? Why do you make me cry? Why do you hurt me baby? What i do wrong to you?

Bridge

I want to say i love you

But now i have to go

You hurt me badly baby

You claim you didn't know

I guess this is see you later

I guess this is goodbye

Don't worry my eyes are dry

Chorus

Why do you hurt me baby? Why do you make me cry? Why do you hurt me baby? What i do wrong to you?

Schools in Session

Yesterday was my first day back in an actual class room and I was so lost. My first class is modern dance. Luckily I wasn't alone and I had one of my close friends, Tiffany, right along with me. We had to fill out a little information form about our dance experience and why we are taking the class. Besides the fact that I need the class for my major, I really want to improve my dance technique. My professor was very out going which was surprising considering it was 9:20 in the morning, which is a bit to early for my liking. We sat down on the cold, bare and dirty dance room floor while the professor went through the all of the information papers one by one. Tiffany and I looked at each other. As the dance class progressed we had so much fun. We danced and I began to sweat and become loose.
My second class was my vocal lessons. It felt great to sing again and to be learning how to sing correctly. Although he spoke a lot, it was pretty fun. All of his criticism were helpful ones and something I could learn from. Although I have homework from the lesson, the only way I will become better is if I work on these things to better myself as a singer. After that I had first year writing. It was the same as usual. My professor for that class is very awkward. Its not her fault, I guess thats just the way she is. Our syllabus was the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. Not because of her, but because of our end of the year assignment, the freshman essay. It should be called, the most pointless piece of writing of my life. What really through me for a loop was the fact that we received a very elementary grammar worksheet. Really a work sheet? Wow and I thought I was a college student.My final class was piano, boy was that a mistake. For starters I have not played the piano in 8 weeks. I forgot so many things about finger placement and how to play. It was pretty pathetic for the professor to see her last semester students struggling  with material that should be a review for us. She was not very pleased. I made a vow to myself that I would work on my voice and piano playing in the practice rooms.
I guess the message from todays blog is the only way to become great at what you do is to practice. Thanks for READING!

Back at SCHOOL

I just got DROVE back to school. Yes I said drove, and my does it feel weird. I walk through the halls of Spellman and I'm seeing new faces, and noticing that old faces still have yet to return. It feels weird to walk up and down the stairs, like this has become a foreign world, a whole new place once again. It feels good to be back with the girls and all of the others. This semester is going to be a challenge for me on many different levels. But I have faith in myself and a good group of supportive friends who will help see me through, and I will do the same for them.
I opened my room door to emptiness. No noise, null and void sounds filled the rooms vacancy. It felt naked without presence. My roommate had not arrived, and she still hasn't but I await the moment when will reunite. Although we are polar opposites we get along just fine, except for an occasional discrepancy here and there, but thats what roommates do right? I began to unload the my full bags, with the help of my dad. One by one I took each item out of the bag and placed it in its new home for the next four months. I was actually a bit sad to leave home. Although home is only 20 minutes away, I will miss the family environment that it has and my moms good cooking. But I have to come from underneath that shell and be my own person. Be the person that my parents raised me to be.
With every knock on my door from each of my friends my heart began to race and my mind filled with thoughts such as this, " I hope everything stays the same." Although change is inevitable, this change is feared the most. I don't want a new group of friends or to grow distant between one of my friends now. For once in my life I actually fit in and I don't want to be kicked out. But with every hug and every greeting, I began to feel at home again even with my fear. We stayed up all night just like old times. We shared stories about our breaks so that made it fun. We played music and laughed at each others jokes. My fear was turned into joy instantaneously.
Although I still have that bit of fear I'm looking forward to this semester. Yes it will be different but it will be for the better and not for the worst.

The Packing Saga

Being a college student has both its pros and cons. Well I'd rather start with all of the pros. Besides the fact that I've met some of the greatest people in the world this last semester, the work load is just right for me. Since I mentioned my friends I might as well talk about them right? So here is goes...
There is Latisha. Words cannot explain how much I love and care about her she is the hopeless romantic, very sweet and kind and always has a positive out look on EVERYTHING, thats why I love her. Ashanti is the realist. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings but she will tell you what you need to hear. Avril is the abuela, if you have a problem she will fix it, most of the time. Aneesha is the goof ball. If your having a bad day just find Aneesha and she will make you laugh it off. Kellie is the intellectual, she also thinks she's relationship counselor. The irony in that last statement is that Kellie has never been in a relationship in her life. Tiffany is the party girl with the attitude. If your having a problem with anyone Tiff is the girl you must call on. Estephany, she is the shy one that quietly always agrees and fall asleep anywhere.My close guy friends are Luis, Trevor, Spencer, Anthony and Alex. each of them are very different and they add too my college excitement. Last but not least is one o my newest friends, Danielle. She is a musical theatre major just like myself and she is bubbly and friendly. If you need a person that has a few years over you to speak to she is definitely the person to have a conversation with. These girls are more than most of my reason for wanting to go back to school. They keep me sane in that insane and hectic place. When one of us is down we lift the other up. When we are happy, we make each other laugh. It's like an extended family.
Now for the cons. There is only one and that is PACKING! That is a saga on it own. It's one of the worst experiences a person has to go through. Especially if you are me. I decided to pack today since I return to school on Saturday. Boy did I make a mistake. I started by emptying out my underwear draw on my carpeted floor, and thus the mess in my room began. My mother and sister stepped inside of my room and walked right back out. I guess they were afraid of the mess I had just created. I started grabbing bags left and right. Sorting the clean clothes from the dirty ones. The worn clothes for the new. I even made a give away pile. I piled all of my jeans into a bin, and those almost did not fit inside of the bin. I arranged my many pairs of shoes in a separate bin. During that obstacle I found a couple of pairs of dirty sneakers. So I gathered those in the bathroom and took an old toothbrush and a spray bottle with bleach and scrubbed my sneakers clean. That took a long while.
After the sneaker cleaning I went back to packing my shirts and pajamas. I decided to leave behind some of my pajamas because I noticed that I own way to many. Between my shirts and sweaters, that needs a book of its own. It was very tedious and annoying to fold all of those items, but I know my mother wasn't going to help me so I had to get the job done.
I was relieved when the piles on the floor slowly started to be clothes folded in many duffle bags. After all of my clothes were packed away, I decided to clean my bathroom. Boy wasn't that fun, NOT! That took another hour out of my day. I scrubbed the tub, sink, counters and toilette inside and out. I don't mind cleaning because I hate a dirty sink and bathroom. When that journey was over I laid in my bed tired from all of the strenuous work that I had just completed. Now for all of my college students am I wrong when I say packing is a saga?

The World Around You

There are many things that go into becoming the person that you are today. Some of us don't like to admit it but we are a product of our past. What ever happened to us in the past has some how taken a toll on us now. It affects the way you interact with people, the way you view the world and the way you view yourself.
I grew up in a pretty strict household. My biological mother worked three jobs and went to school while my twin brother and I were constantly in our babysitters care. Although we spent most of our time with our babysitter, our mother tried her hardest to to be a good role model. But on one is perfect and my mother had a lot of short comings.
My brother and I were forced to grow up based on the stories my mother told us as children. I first learned about sex when I was five years old. Isn't that insane? At five years old I should be building blocks, counting or learning my A,B,C's not learning about the meaning of sex. My mother would also say very inappropriate things around us. I grew up very sheltered but very much aware of my surroundings. Throughout the years I began to notice some of the things my mother spoke about were true. This affected my outlook on the world.
I was and never could be racist given the fact that my foster parents are Caucasian. Before I moved with them I noticed a lot of things about my people, meaning African Americans. Although we were enslaved over 400 years ago and we had to struggle for equal rights, still 400 years later we are still blaming the "white man." It sickens me that my people do not take responsibility for our actions. I'm not saying we don't have it rough because we do, but as untied people we can make it through the struggling times. I look at Jewish people and see all that they went through. No they weren't enslaved for a long period of time but, they did not let them hold their culture back from a prosperous future. They are lawyers, doctors, policemen ect. they are productive as a unit. I've developed so many belief's about my race and other races throughout the years. It's sad but each culture has its own flaws and until we as humans notice that, we will never progress peacefully.
I remember being about seven or eight years old and sitting in the guidance counselors  office; we were talking about self esteem. She gave an example I will never forget. She said,"If someone keeps telling you your ugly, stupid, retarded or anything negative for a long period of time, you will start to believe it." For many years I struggled with my appearance because of what someone else told me I looked like and not having enough self esteem to look them in the face and tell them they were wrong. If I wasn't being teased for being short, I was teased for having big lips, little breast, buck teeth, a big head, stubby fingers and so much more. Children are mean and they look for anything to pick on. For a very long time I felt like I wasn't good enough for people to like until I learned to love myself because no one else will love you like you love yourself.
Your experiences have so many affects on the way you perceive individuals, the world and your self. Its sad to say some people don't realize it until they are very old.