The World Around You

There are many things that go into becoming the person that you are today. Some of us don't like to admit it but we are a product of our past. What ever happened to us in the past has some how taken a toll on us now. It affects the way you interact with people, the way you view the world and the way you view yourself.
I grew up in a pretty strict household. My biological mother worked three jobs and went to school while my twin brother and I were constantly in our babysitters care. Although we spent most of our time with our babysitter, our mother tried her hardest to to be a good role model. But on one is perfect and my mother had a lot of short comings.
My brother and I were forced to grow up based on the stories my mother told us as children. I first learned about sex when I was five years old. Isn't that insane? At five years old I should be building blocks, counting or learning my A,B,C's not learning about the meaning of sex. My mother would also say very inappropriate things around us. I grew up very sheltered but very much aware of my surroundings. Throughout the years I began to notice some of the things my mother spoke about were true. This affected my outlook on the world.
I was and never could be racist given the fact that my foster parents are Caucasian. Before I moved with them I noticed a lot of things about my people, meaning African Americans. Although we were enslaved over 400 years ago and we had to struggle for equal rights, still 400 years later we are still blaming the "white man." It sickens me that my people do not take responsibility for our actions. I'm not saying we don't have it rough because we do, but as untied people we can make it through the struggling times. I look at Jewish people and see all that they went through. No they weren't enslaved for a long period of time but, they did not let them hold their culture back from a prosperous future. They are lawyers, doctors, policemen ect. they are productive as a unit. I've developed so many belief's about my race and other races throughout the years. It's sad but each culture has its own flaws and until we as humans notice that, we will never progress peacefully.
I remember being about seven or eight years old and sitting in the guidance counselors  office; we were talking about self esteem. She gave an example I will never forget. She said,"If someone keeps telling you your ugly, stupid, retarded or anything negative for a long period of time, you will start to believe it." For many years I struggled with my appearance because of what someone else told me I looked like and not having enough self esteem to look them in the face and tell them they were wrong. If I wasn't being teased for being short, I was teased for having big lips, little breast, buck teeth, a big head, stubby fingers and so much more. Children are mean and they look for anything to pick on. For a very long time I felt like I wasn't good enough for people to like until I learned to love myself because no one else will love you like you love yourself.
Your experiences have so many affects on the way you perceive individuals, the world and your self. Its sad to say some people don't realize it until they are very old.